Is That So Wrong?

I feel guilty. No, it’s not because I had Banana Toffee pie two breakfasts in a row (though come to think of it I should feel a bit guilty about that, huh?). It’s not for my only-a-sailor-could-love-it mouth either. It’s for selling

possessions.

Before you can even ask, yes they were mine to sell. And they fetched a pretty penny, too.

So, why do I feel guilty?

Earlier this year I gathered all the jewelry The Ex gave me and put it aside to take to Rocky’s in Weyer’s Cave to sell. I see commercials saying it’s the perfect time to sell my gold and silver on TV and it always makes me remember all the jewelry in my box that I no longer wear. To me, however, it always seemed like a scam so I never tried.

But I don’t wear the jewelry anymore. There is one necklace that I love and would think about keeping, but then I would recall when he gave it to me–the Valentine’s Day after I found out about the “event” that started our downfall. And I would feel bad again. I also had several rings that I never wear…really I only have two ring fingers and on the left is my wedding and engagement rings from DH and on the right hand I wear my great-grandmother’s wedding ring that is passed to the oldest granddaughter (my daughter will get it next) on her wedding day.

So, what good were these pretty jewels actually doing in my jewelry box? Not any good, actually. They were constant reminders of either anniversaries or birthdays or my first wedding. How is this helpful? Also, I felt a bit guilty when I did wear jewelry from the first husband…as if it were a slap to DH in some way.

I had already sold my previous engagement ring to finance the first Christmas with the kids after The Ex and I separated. I really wanted to make it one they’d remember and I had very little money to buy them anything nice. So I used that money to buy a Wii for them. I still had the wedding band–with its engraving of our names followed by forever with the date of our wedding. Yeah, forever turned out to be 12 years so why save that? It’s not like the kids will want it. Who wants a ring from a marriage that failed? Bad juju!

So, those items that hold no positive sentimental value were gathered together and taken to the jewelry store on Saturday to be sold. I did give The Girl the first ring The Ex had ever given me for my birthday in 1993. It wouldn’t be worth much and the sentiment is sweet. I also saved the ruby heart pendant that says Mom that he gave me for the first Mother’s Day after I gave birth to The Boy. There was a “Best Friend” gold bracelet a guy friend had given me in high school, even though he was dating another girl and knew I liked him and a diamond pendant from the boyfriend I was seeing my senior year that he gave me for graduation that I sold. The rest were given to me by The Ex.

At first I felt a weight off my shoulders, but now I feel a little guilty. Why do I feel bad? They were mine to sell. They may have been symbols of good times, but they were shrouded by memories of bad ones. I expect the feelings of guilt will pass, though, especially as I use the money toward the credit card debt he so forced me to take on.

Maybe I’ll go home and see if there’s anything more I can sell!

On a side jewelry note: DH already lost his wedding bad. I’m trying not to read anything into that. He noticed it missing while we were at the jewelry store…ironic he lost his ring on the way to a jewelry store. I still think it’s somewhere in the house, but we can’t find it and he tore that place apart. It may turn up and it may not, so we’ll be buying him another one. I prefer my man to have such a leash, don’t you?