I am sick. It’s super official. Even when I start to feel better something happens & I feel icky again.
I haven’t been sick in more than a year. I’ve had fibromyalgia flare ups & was slammed by vertigo last spring, but felled by a cold? Not in a long while.
And it SUCKS! It’s worse tonight than it’s been. I am afraid I’m getting the flu or something. That reminds me of the last time I was this sick.
It was January 2008. I got the flu—temperature was 103. Then The Ex got it. Then both kids. It was a den of sickness for 2 weeks. I didn’t feel myself for another week after that. The Ex threw that in my face 2 weeks later when on Feb. 17th he told me he wanted out.
I try to remember DH is NOT The Ex. But then something like 2 weeks of illness happens & I fret, feeling guilty. It’s not like I got sick over Christmas on purpose.
And the kids…I’m feeling crappy because I’m sick over the holidays. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.
The Boy is still needy. I’ve tried to get him to let me hit the sheets while DH gets him ready for bed. He says he can only sleep well if I do it. Ugh. I knew I’d have to suck it up when single momming it. But with the remarriage I had hoped some of that would pass. I love my kids. I love being a mom. But I’m sick and could use the sleep. He’ll only be 11 once. Soon I’ll blink & he’ll no longer need nor want me. I guess it’s now or never, including sucking it up until he goes to bed.
Then off to the sickbed.
